I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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