im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
