Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
so explain again why im purple
no
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
