So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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