Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
