New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
stop calling my apartment porn island.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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