i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
