Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
