I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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