would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
