My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
