gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Randomize
