we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Randomize
