I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
