Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
