this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
