Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
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