so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
