i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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