I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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