I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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