porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Randomize
