We named our party play list daddy issues
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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