I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
