I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
