Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
