Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
