i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
