I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I need moral support for this bender
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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