Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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