Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
