Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
