Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
