ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
