if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
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