hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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