So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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