Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Randomize
