dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
