Who wears a wallet chain?!
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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