i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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