We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Little spoons don't ask big questions
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
