Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
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