Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
