susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Randomize
