We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
ugly people sure do ruin things
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
