I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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