we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
