My nipple is on Facebook.
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
