It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
