it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Randomize
