I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
