love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Randomize
