Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Randomize
