I think scott just propositioned me for sex
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
